1. Law school does not teach you how to be a lawyer. Maybe it teaches you how to think like a lawyer, but I could have went to paralegal school for that and saved $200,000. So, thanks for that, Georgetown. Much appreciated.
2. Law firms like to give you lots and lots of free alcohol and free (bad for you) food.
3. Lots of free alcohol + lots of free (bad for you) food = Lots of non-free shopping because you've gained too much weight to fit into your formerly "skinny" clothes. Damn it.
4. Do. Not. Piss. Off. The. Secretaries.
5. Running 3.1 miles is doable!
6. Running 3.1 miles with a blister is less doable.
7. Blister gel/cream preventer stuff does not work.
8. There are exactly 16 Black people in my firm. Total.
9. It's so easy to spend money when you've got money.
10. Don't ever take a job where you have to bill hours. Trust me on this.
11. It is totally appropriate to wear flat jeweled sandals to the club in June, and don't let anyone tell you differently.
12. Rooftop parties are fun.
13. Walking through an alley that smells like a schizophrenic homeless woman's underwear to get to said rooftop party is not fun.
14. The attractive, Black, cool, male lawyer is not totally an urban legend. If only I could remember his name...
15. As long as you look busy and type furiously, no one will bother you while you're on your computer at work. Even if you're blogging.
Happy Friday!
S.
P.S.- 16. Three day weekends should be mandatory.
Showing posts with label lawyers are weird.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lawyers are weird.. Show all posts
Friday, June 22, 2012
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Eff It.
You may not have noticed this, but I haven't written in a while.
It's not because I didn't want to write, because I did. I REALLY wanted to write. Desperately, actually. But the thing is, I wanted to write about my job. Which is bad, because blogging about your job could get fired. And seeing as how I'm not at all inclined to be poor again, I just didn't write. I made the executive decision that plugging my creative outlet was better than mistakenly writing something I shouldn't and getting called into HR.
Except, it's not. Not even a little bit.
So now I'm saying eff it. I'm going to write. I'm going to talk about my life, and my days, and what it feels like to be a real life full-fledged attorney. Cause I am. Like, legitimately.
I'm a rebel with a cause, I tell ya. Which is exactly why I just painted my nails the brightest neon pink known to man. Take that, stuffy old judicial system! I've got to be me, and I'm starting right now.
Back with a vengeance,
S.
It's not because I didn't want to write, because I did. I REALLY wanted to write. Desperately, actually. But the thing is, I wanted to write about my job. Which is bad, because blogging about your job could get fired. And seeing as how I'm not at all inclined to be poor again, I just didn't write. I made the executive decision that plugging my creative outlet was better than mistakenly writing something I shouldn't and getting called into HR.
Except, it's not. Not even a little bit.
So now I'm saying eff it. I'm going to write. I'm going to talk about my life, and my days, and what it feels like to be a real life full-fledged attorney. Cause I am. Like, legitimately.
I'm a rebel with a cause, I tell ya. Which is exactly why I just painted my nails the brightest neon pink known to man. Take that, stuffy old judicial system! I've got to be me, and I'm starting right now.
Back with a vengeance,
S.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Perhaps I Spoke Too Soon...
...Because I just got offered that job I interviewed for.
Whoop!
Knowing that I'll be able to pay some bills takes a huge weight off my back and definitely put a smile back on my face.
Lord, don't let me mess this up. Also Lord, this might be rather superficial, but please don't let me turn into one of those weird, socially awkward, lawyer types. I'm too cute for all that. Shudder.
S.
Whoop!
Knowing that I'll be able to pay some bills takes a huge weight off my back and definitely put a smile back on my face.
Lord, don't let me mess this up. Also Lord, this might be rather superficial, but please don't let me turn into one of those weird, socially awkward, lawyer types. I'm too cute for all that. Shudder.
S.
Friday, October 14, 2011
If Cover Letters Told the Truth
Dear Ms. Woman Who Reads 592 of These a Day and Probably Wants to Shoot Herself in the Eye,
I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not going to fill this letter with the same bunch of subtle compliments about this company that every job hunter has been told to include in order to indicate that I've researched and read up on this company and have my pick of the litter and couldn't imagine a more fascinating and exciting job opportunity than This. Exact. Job. You see, the truth is that right now I'd take pretty much any job that would allow me to pay at least the interest on my school loans and didn't involve scrubbing toilets and/or wearing a hair net. Cause that's just gross. But other than that, I'm totally open. I don't think that's asking too much.
I know in this part of the letter I'm supposed to regale you with stories of my work experience. But see, here's the thing: I ain't got none. I mean, I have summer work experience, and that totally counts (right? RIGHT?) but as for actual real-life-longer-than-two-months-going-every-day-work? Yeeeeah, not so much. But that's clearly not my fault! And actually, it's evidence of how good a worker I am; I did EXACTLY what my superiors (a.k.a. parents and teachers) told me to do. I went to school, then went to school some more, then went a little more. Now, the way I understand it, that was SUPPOSED to culminate in people like you throwing job offers at my doorstep. No one ever said anything about working a real job! How was I to know book learning wasn't enough? On the bright side, when you call me in for an interview and ask me to describe one negative attribute I possess, I've got a slam dunk answer-- "I've found that in the past I have not always looked as far outside the box as I should. But I recognize the problem and am working diligently to embrace my creative side." BAM! HOW YA LIKE ME NOW?
Let's recap. I'm young, I have little to no experience but a crap load of education, I have pretty much no idea what I want to do with my life, and your company is just one of many I'm sending this cover letter out to. There is absolutely nothing special about you except for the fact that you've yet to convert to a completely online, automated, job search system, which is why you're getting this letter in the first place (lucky me!). Additionally, I need to make at least $80,000 a year to justify attending one of the most expensive law schools in one of the most expensive cities in the country... and so the Department of Education doesn't break down my door for defaulting on my loans like this guy. I'm sure we can make this work, and I look forward to hearing from you!
Sincerely,
S.
P.S. Just found out I passed the bar, so that minimum salary requirement just went up $10k. Ok? Ok!
I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not going to fill this letter with the same bunch of subtle compliments about this company that every job hunter has been told to include in order to indicate that I've researched and read up on this company and have my pick of the litter and couldn't imagine a more fascinating and exciting job opportunity than This. Exact. Job. You see, the truth is that right now I'd take pretty much any job that would allow me to pay at least the interest on my school loans and didn't involve scrubbing toilets and/or wearing a hair net. Cause that's just gross. But other than that, I'm totally open. I don't think that's asking too much.
I know in this part of the letter I'm supposed to regale you with stories of my work experience. But see, here's the thing: I ain't got none. I mean, I have summer work experience, and that totally counts (right? RIGHT?) but as for actual real-life-longer-than-two-months-going-every-day-work? Yeeeeah, not so much. But that's clearly not my fault! And actually, it's evidence of how good a worker I am; I did EXACTLY what my superiors (a.k.a. parents and teachers) told me to do. I went to school, then went to school some more, then went a little more. Now, the way I understand it, that was SUPPOSED to culminate in people like you throwing job offers at my doorstep. No one ever said anything about working a real job! How was I to know book learning wasn't enough? On the bright side, when you call me in for an interview and ask me to describe one negative attribute I possess, I've got a slam dunk answer-- "I've found that in the past I have not always looked as far outside the box as I should. But I recognize the problem and am working diligently to embrace my creative side." BAM! HOW YA LIKE ME NOW?
Let's recap. I'm young, I have little to no experience but a crap load of education, I have pretty much no idea what I want to do with my life, and your company is just one of many I'm sending this cover letter out to. There is absolutely nothing special about you except for the fact that you've yet to convert to a completely online, automated, job search system, which is why you're getting this letter in the first place (lucky me!). Additionally, I need to make at least $80,000 a year to justify attending one of the most expensive law schools in one of the most expensive cities in the country... and so the Department of Education doesn't break down my door for defaulting on my loans like this guy. I'm sure we can make this work, and I look forward to hearing from you!
Sincerely,
S.
P.S. Just found out I passed the bar, so that minimum salary requirement just went up $10k. Ok? Ok!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Real Life Awaits
Guys, I'm ONE semester away from graduating from law school. ONE!!
*does the patented Samantha happy dance*
In exactly 4 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days, I will be a 25 year old law school graduate. With an undergraduate degree from the 15th best university in the world. That's pretty cool. What's not cool is that if I don't Find. A. Job. I'll be living underneath an overpass with only my degree to protect me from the elements. Which is bad cause paper--even that really fancy parchment they print degrees on--is not really water resistant. Eh.
So, there's that. Buuuut, in order to get a job, I need to pass the bar AND HOLY CRAP WHY IN THE WORLD IS BAR PREP SO EXPENSIVE?!?!? I'm talking $3,000 for the privilege of
*does the patented Samantha happy dance*
In exactly 4 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days, I will be a 25 year old law school graduate. With an undergraduate degree from the 15th best university in the world. That's pretty cool. What's not cool is that if I don't Find. A. Job. I'll be living underneath an overpass with only my degree to protect me from the elements. Which is bad cause paper--even that really fancy parchment they print degrees on--is not really water resistant. Eh.
So, there's that. Buuuut, in order to get a job, I need to pass the bar AND HOLY CRAP WHY IN THE WORLD IS BAR PREP SO EXPENSIVE?!?!? I'm talking $3,000 for the privilege of
banging my head against the desk in frustration, having no life, pulling my hangnails a la Black Swan (!!!), staring at the wall plotting my own death studying 8-10 hours a day for 2 months with a bunch of freshly minted JDs. Have you ever met a law student/new JD? They generally aren't awesome people. Except for me. I'm awesome. And that doesn't even include the actual cost of the bar exam itself! At least my parents love me and are gonna pay for it. I think. Hopefully. I'm pretty sure I'll owe them each a summer house or something once I'm done though-- interest payments are a killer.
So all that to say, if anyone knows of any sport/entertainment/media related jobs I should apply for, let me know. Ok, who am I kidding-- if anyone knows of ANY jobs I should apply for, let me know. Beggars can't be choosers. Well they could, but then they'd just be an a*hole beggar, and don't beggars have enough problems to deal with? I'm sure the economy is heavily curtailing their panhandling take. Thank you kindly.
Alright, that's it. Mom's fried pork chops await and I do loves the pig.
S.
P.S. Happy New Year!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Finals
This week is the end of classes for this semester. My last fall semester EVER. Isn't it funny how specific the countdown gets once you can see the end clearly? My last first day of school. My last 2nd class of the 6th week of spring semester ever. My last weekend before spring break where I wish it was already spring break but dread coming back from break even though I haven't actually started break yet. Anyway, whoop whoop!
Unfortunately, that means that I will be holed up in my apartment paper writing/outlining/tearing out my hair/studying/not showering/eating poorly/not watching TV/getting by on impressively low amounts of sleep/sponateously bursting into song and or dance to keep myself from going crazy (or is that actually evidence of my crazy?? Hmmm...)/staring at my computer screen for the next two and a half weeks. All of which equates to me not posting until I'm finished.
Law school is fun. Join the cult, we have cookies!
(-_-)
See you on the flip side.
S.
Unfortunately, that means that I will be holed up in my apartment paper writing/outlining/tearing out my hair/studying/not showering/eating poorly/not watching TV/getting by on impressively low amounts of sleep/sponateously bursting into song and or dance to keep myself from going crazy (or is that actually evidence of my crazy?? Hmmm...)/staring at my computer screen for the next two and a half weeks. All of which equates to me not posting until I'm finished.
Law school is fun. Join the cult, we have cookies!
(-_-)
See you on the flip side.
S.
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